Sunday, November 13, 2016

And So,

Wednesday was not a good day.  The weather was crappy, my kid has been going through a cranky phase, and I hadn't slept well for reasons apparent once I woke up and saw the news.

And so,

Wednesday is my workout day, and as much as I wanted and needed to go, I was looking for reasons not to.  I slowly got ready, almost reluctantly, but the only other person in the room didn't care if I went or not, just me.

And so,

We went to the park to do the workout and halfway through my kid lost his shyt for the first time since I started this exercise program.  As one does, you begin to cycle through whatever means you have to calm your child and nothing was working.  I was thinking that we'd have to leave because I felt completely out of control of the situation, and my kid had set the other child off.  But then the instructor said, "let's pause."

Yes.  Let's pause, not flee.  Adjust.  Find a solution through calm.

And so,

I ran a few laps around the park with the stroller and then the instructor pushed my kid around to help him fall asleep while I resumed my workout.  And when it was over I went on with my day.

And so,

In the days following I have limited my news intake and instead have chosen to embrace peace of mind.  The holidays are coming up and there are some crafty plans afoot that I am excited about: on the calendar there are two shows to look forward to- first, Cirque du Soleil and then seeing The Nutcracker with friends.  I picked up some mulled wine at a festival last month, and I have apple pie filling I cooked down in the slow cooker waiting in the freezer to become handpies to be shared with friends.  A friend and I are also going to collaborate on some homemade gifts, which I will share once all the deets are worked out.

And so,

Through the gloom we can still rise.  This does not mean burying our heads in the sand but it also doesn't mean we should be so afraid that we can't keep moving forward.

And so,

Friends, be well.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Time Change, or Times are Changing

Yesterday I took myself out for a Sunday walk.

And it was much needed.

Recently with all of my life changes, I have begun to reflect on what my needs are and actively limiting the extras, so just taking the time to breath easy felt necessary to begin this week.  All of these extras have included podcasts, websites, tv shows, social media, some relationships(!) and even my crafty home of Ravelry.  I mean I'd try to cycle through a bunch of this stuff daily, and really why?  Some of it was pleasurable but a lot was just me escaping my life and looking at (and thinking about) other's people's lives.  And, most of them strangers!!   Honestly.  Not living my best life.

Let me tell you, letting go hasn't been a bad thing because keeping up can be draining.  And this includes maintaining relationships with everyone you know.  I don't chase people anymore.  I try to keep up to a certain degree and if I can't, that has to be okay.  No one is loved or cared for any less.

So in releasing the "dead" weight, what am I making room for? Well Japan is and will become my second home, more so than here in the States. My mom is gone, and while I still have family scattered around, it's complicated. Not in any dramatic sense, it's just that we've just never been THOSE people. Everyone is at arms length and well my Japanese in laws and extended family are most welcoming and that's that. Me being black is not a thing and I never feel weird.

I will write more about where they live and some of our adventures in another post, but visiting them earlier this year and deciding to become an ESL teacher have got the mental juices flowing towards a life I want.  I want to restart my Japanese studies as I am learning about learning from a theoretical point of view in my current studies.  The generic way of teaching/learning languages has never worked for me and I am slowly learning how to turn this around in the future both for myself but also my students.  I have neither the time or money to invest in more classes, but I am plotting out how I can make Japanese work for me within our home.

I want to be more creative- developing my knitting and sewing crafts more.  I can't devote unlimited hours at a sitting to a project anymore, but in chunks I can make things!  Japanese sewing books are a puzzling undertaking that I dream of mastering.  My language skills will grow as I learn the vocabulary to create and this is exciting to me.

I've made a set time to get outside and work out with other mammas.  The trainer doesn't take it easy on us and we're not easy on ourselves.  In going once a week for about the last 5/6 weeks I can see the physical differences in my body.  Yes, I would love to do add in another one or two workouts, but that just doesn't work right now.  But what I can do, while my kid is rolling around on the floor, are some squats and mountain climbers!  Maybe a pushup or two.

I don't have more than 24 hours in a day, but I can change how I am using my time.

And on that note one of my favorite albums when I'm in my head...

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Nature's Candy

I usually refer to raisins as "nature's candy" but the fruit that I came across in a mall's basement supermarket was so lush, it's like candy.  So, I thought I would share some more pretty pictures from visiting the in laws. Oh, and as A mentioned, keep in mind the exchange rate, but this produce was still pricey!! That said, this fruit is obviously cherished and it really puts into perspective the things we buy and hold on to and buy and hold on to, instead of just enjoying for the moment.

You ever hear some music that just pulls you out of your seat and into your fantasy singing or dance life?  I recently started watching this anime, between life and assignments, and the opening theme is just that.  (Note: this anime is not for the young or the faint hearted.  Shyt happens and it's not pretty).